Why do men like to keep things open-ended, even if they’re the ones who broke up with you?
The Professional: To be frank, they are still interested in some form of a relationship (physical or emotional) with you but also letting you know they want to find someone else. Before I go any further, we have to acknowledge that this tactic is used by both women and men. Fair is fair. Like everything in life, this approach has its pluses and minuses, either: (a) you’ve made a difficult and honest long term decision yet still desire passion or friendship; or (b) you’ve made a decision but are afraid to be alone. One way, you’re a hero, the other, you are a villain. Context is everything.
All that being said, my advice to the recipient of this type of messaging: accept and move on. Move on emotionally immediately. Staying committed to someone who is not, is just emotionally foolish and likely to cause a whole host of new issues.
The Jerk: What do you think? Dude wants out but still wants booty call options. You know, he’s looking for a new car but still loves driving his old Honda Civic. Come on. He wants to get the Doritos’ variety pack, but still loves the original Lays’. Get it? How about, he’s looking to buy a new house but wants to keep his rental. Alright, alright, he likes playing paddy cake with you but wants to play Monopoly with some other girls (who he hasn’t met yet but thinks they will play much better than you). Shit, he wants to hump you, but he also wants to hump other people. Sketchy, sketchy, sketchy. I suggest you give dude some of his own medicine if he takes that approach, tell him you were thinking the exact same thing and then tell him you have a date and have to run. Oh, and don’t answer his calls for three days. All’s fair in love and war.
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