Are Your Panties Worthy?


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As you all know, Halloween is this Wednesday, which means lots of substance-free parties, itchy polyester, and well, sluts.

Yes, this is the only occasion that seamlessly bridges the gap between the “hoe? and the “closet freak.? Allowing them both to look like a pre-jail Lil Kim (nipple pasty included) without fear of a Facebook group popping up with the intent to smear their good name.

And with that said (you have to be in a bit of a “gutta? state of mind to fully appreciate the rest of the post) , I introduce to you some of the most compelling investigative journalism since CNN’s Anderson Cooper went to cover Hurricane Katrina complete with Prada loafers and tee.

There is an article in the current issue of Missbehave called Selling Her Painties For Profit. Yasi, who has a column in the mag entitled Yasi Tries, sets out in this installment to see how many pervs she can lure on Craigslist to buy her used panties. Gross, I know.

After researching what things like this go for on the internet, she found that, “$30 is the going rate for “worn one day? and $55 for “worn during time of month.?” I’m not even going to speculate on the reason for the price hike in the more icky of the two garments because what’s more interesting is that there were actually fools who responded to Yasi’s listing!

Posing as “Julie? from Los Angelos who is looking to earn a few extra dollars for college, she finds her mailbox full of offers:

Hi Julie,

You sound really great and nice. I would love to buy your painties. Are you up for meeting and wearing those paintes for me? I was thinking of meeting at a public place, you’ll be wearing thr painties flash me a couple of times. Then you would go change out of them and give them to me nice and fresh. -R

Considering how she didn’t want to get murdered for her “journalistic endeavors? she passed on this guy. No worries, she soon found a winner in RJ:

Hi Julie,

I have just come across your post on CL, I’m interested in buying from you, from your list in the posting, if there are any left. If you have more pairs to sell, email me back and let me know. Do you provide special requests in your pantie? For a higher price of course.

Intrigued by higher prices and a “special request,? she accepts the offer, collects her money (fifty bucks), and then ships her soiled undergarments to some nutjob who probably has.

What does all this mean you ask?

It means that once you get passed the neon throw-up that is the Missbehave cover, you’ll find one of the most refreshing women’s fashion mags around. It’s like Henny without coke. No real art direction, no Gemma or Coca Rocha, and no must-have five hundred headband. Just a group of ladies who can appreciate the brilliance of NYT’s Will Shortz, knows Zach Braff is need of a serious intervention, and thinks Amanda Lepore will be just as good of a cover model as M.I.A and Nelly Furtado (or at least that is the rumor). Really, you’ll love it. However, I must warn you that reading such enlightened material will lead to usage of the word radicool and an addiction to bedazzled nails!

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